Last year at this exact day, my mother had her first chemo session for her lung cancer. That would be the first of six cycles of chemotherapy. She was lucky, in a way, because she had a choice of medicine that had less adverse effects (eg, falling hair, nausea, vomiting). However, these chemo sessions would leave her weak for days…but it drained only her physical strength, not her faith and beliefs.
Ever since my mother was diagnosed to have Stage IV lung cancer, life has been different, as any relative of someone with a life-threatening disease would tell you. Our schedules had to be centered around her because someone had to be with her all the time. My sister quit her job to be her full-time personal nurse. Our house, before full of toys, was now filled with hospital equipment and materials like wheelchair, oxygen tank, gas masks, injections, and others. Our weekly routine now included trips to the hospitals and check-ups. We became accustomed to visitors, prayovers, masses, everyday prayers, and visits to St. Peregrine. National Kidney Institute and Medical City seemed like a second home now.
Not only that, all of a sudden, cancer was everywhere! My aunt was also diagnosed to have breast cancer (she has finished her four cycles of chemo). Our neighbor (a close friend of my parents) was also diagnosed to have a rare kind of pancreatic cancer. She is heading to the United States to be part of a study for medication on this rare cancer. And recently, my godmother, who has helped us a lot as a high official at the National Kidney Institute, was also diagnosed to have breast cancer and had just gone through her first chemo. Even Tita Cory and Rommel Aduccul (PBA player). What the hell is happening?
In the 1 year that I had been exposed to cancer and all its indications, symptoms, and treatments, my life has been changed too! I cherish everyday with my mother. Although we are positive thinkers, we (her family) always have to be open to the possibility that our dear Father will take her any time, and believe me when I say that she is ALWAYS ready.
But more importantly, in general, I have come to appreciate life more, specifically, my life. In these times, when your loved one is faced with the possibility of death, you are also exposed to your own mortality. I’ve had countless nights spent just staring at space and thinking what would happen if I had cancer. How would I react? What will I do? I don’t want to die yet! I want to experience much, much more! It is in these moments that I come to resolve that I have to live my life to the fullest and try to enjoy it as much as I can. Sounds serious huh…but its actually not! I mean we should have been enjoying life even without thoughts of death.
Everyday that we wake up is something to be thankful about. Just think of my mother, who, everyday, wakes up thanking God for another day given her.
On a much happier note, after a year and six cycles of chemo, my mother is doing better. Her cancer has stabilized and she just has to take medication everyday. She doing, and feeling, is much better now. I am amazed at her progress and her strength. And I pray to God that He give her more years with us! But then, everyday is also to be thankful for!
Hi Grace,
Kumusta? Pasensya na di na kita naee-mail o kahit makumusta man lang. Hay, hirap ng 2 na ang inaalagaang bata-batuta at nage-eBay. Ngayon lang ako nakabwelo at 1AM kasi tulog na sila lahat and I don’t have any shipment yet.
I’m not sure if you’ve heard that my 2nd son, Rod Allen, was born a month early last year (Sep 27, ‘07). The whole pregnancy was crazy. His growth was always below normal kaya I had monthly ultrasounds and was considered high risk. Eventually, the last Ultrasound I had on the 27th of September was supposed to be just a regular ultrasound. The Sonographer found out that he was growing within the 1-2 percentile, so that same day we were rushed to go to Orlando (Winnie Palmer Hospital, specialized for high risk pregnancy). My doctor said that they might have me deliver the baby that same day. Imagine, it was 9:30AM and our appointment was 11:30AM and we have to go back home and pack our bags. Indeed, after all kinds of test including a high tech ultrasound, I found myself wearing a hospital gown and ready for an emergency CS. I even had to call my Mom just before I went in for Surgery to purchase an early ticket. As planned, to help babysit.
He was born, 3 lbs and 10 ounces, 17 inches long. He was really small, we felt like we were holding a doll. Compared with Ryan, now 2.8 yrs old, born a week early because he was in a breech position, was born 8.1 lbs and 22 inches. Thank God, everything went well. We left him at the hospital for 10 days, which felt really weird going home and leaving the baby at the NICU. The only great thing was his doctor is one of the best Neonatologists in the country.
Hay…. He is now 6 months and just started crawling - froggy style.
Kasisimula lang kumain ng cereal. I believe he is over 15 lbs now. Still red haired.
I’m so glad that you have a blog. Nakakatuwa kasi nakakarefresh ng buhay sa Pinas. Grabe, parang kelan lang graduate na ng kindergarten si Wendy, ang galing naman. Kundi mana sayo, sa parents mo na lang.
Tama ba 7 yrs old na sya nung April 6th?
Anyway, my questions were answered today when you posted this blog. Please know that we’ve been praying for your Mom since you e-mailed me last year of her condition. I’m feel really blessed to know that she is doing well. Although it’s sad to hear na marami kang kakilala na may cancer. It’s really hard to think about the unthinkable, you know, but in a way its easier that way than when something happens in an instant. Its still difficult to think that my Dad is with the Lord now, but with his condition before I knew time will come. My Mom actually went home on January 31st with a heavy heart because my eldest cousin who was very dear to me passed away after finding out that she had a still-birth. She had a hemorrhage. Delivered the baby in Polangui, Albay and had to be taken all the way to Legaspi for surgery. I feel really terrible and heart-broken na sa probinsya kulang facilities. Its so hard to comprehend what had happened to her. Hay buhay! Reading your blog, it really makes sense to appreciate life more. I’ve been feeling really depressed lately until I watched “The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch”. I’m not sure if you’ve seen that video but he also has cancer - pancreatic cancer. Its such an eye opener.
Again, thanks a bunch for posting this blog today. I’m so glad that I am wide awake kaya nakae-mail ako sayo. This is the longest e-mail I’ve written for a long long time. Sana makae-mail din ako kina Nig and Debs. Sina lara, carla, ate april and ria kasi paminsan minsa nakikita ko nagoonline sa yahoo. Me yahoo ID ka ba? I already picked-up Rod and placed him a boppy pillow over my lap kaya natapos ko tong e-mail. Hirap magprocrastinate kasi di ko natatapos.
O sya, sign out na muna ako. E-mail me -jenrinc19@cfl.rr.com. I check this more often.
Regards sa parents mo, siblings, Pol (musta na sya?) and Wendy (Kiss mo na lang ako).
Miss u much!
Love,
Jen
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i know what you mean. the wife has been paranoid. for two months now, we have been using all-natural soaps and shampoos, as commercial products (cosmetics and body care products) contain paraben, which was found to cause breast cancer.
Posted by the husband at April 8, 2008, 12:37 pm